


How Many Superheroes Does It Take to Rescue a Cat?

by completelyhopeless



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Crack, Gen, Humor, twist of a prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 14:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2697176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers have a bit of explaining to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Many Superheroes Does It Take to Rescue a Cat?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Evil_Little_Dog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/gifts).



> This is so a corruption of the prompt: _[MCU, Avengers, Rescuing animals is still rescuing innocents who need help](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/539849.html?thread=76807625#t76807625)_
> 
> I actually was thinking of trying to foist this idea off as a prompt for someone else, but I hadn't gotten to it. So I wrote it instead.
> 
> I'm sorry. I hope you get a real and not cracky fill.

* * *

Phil held up a hand. “Wait. Let me be sure I understand this. You are a superhero team, right? Assembled to save the world from threats no one else can stop, threats that are beyond the abilities of police, national guard, and armies, correct?”

“Yes.”

“I, in fact, died to help assemble this team, did I not?”

“You did,” Thor agreed, bowing his head in acknowledgment of the sacrifice. Phil nodded, not wanting to think about the Asgardian's brother. “We were honored to fight in your memory.”

“Right,” Phil said. He folded his arms over his chest. “So, who wants to explain to me why none of you could manage to rescue a cat in a tree?”

“That's Point Break's doing,” Stark began. “If he hadn't turned the whole thing into a lightning storm, then my suit wouldn't have malfunctioned. No one would have gone green and bounced off Spangles' shield, and the tree wouldn't have been hit by a lightning bolt.”

Thor glared at him. Phil thought about asking why Stark's suit couldn't compensate for that and chose not to, and then he saw the sheepish look on Captain America's face and knew there was more to that part of the story, but it might not be anything Phil wanted to know.

He swore he had a migraine. “And you two?”

Barton and Romanoff exchanged a look. “Everything would have been fine.”

“Except that wasn't a cat.”

**Author's Note:**

> I almost did but managed not to make the not-cat the 0-8-4 Coulson has as a pet.


End file.
